It doesn’t roll off the tongue like ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ but I’m willing to sacrifice alliteration to make a point, pointless as this may well be. But we’ll save pointless for Portland ...Pointless in Portland. But I digress.
When I first moved to Salt Lake City from Brooklyn, New York in 1982 the first thing I noticed was that everyone was walking two feet off the ground. They didn’t seem to be anchored to the sidewalks by gravity as I knew it in Brooklyn. I wasn't on drugs. Maybe it had something to do with the precarious Wasatch Fault zone around Salt Lake City, like the San Andreas fault in Los Angeles. Maybe it was the high altitude or dry air. Or maybe it was something otherworldly, something divine. I didn’t know much about the pervasive culture here or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Mormons, however, I did go to university here in the 1960’s but I’lll get to that later.
Growing up in Brooklyn we had a little bit of everything, well a lot of everything ...religious sects, race, ethnicity, politics, gender, attitude, all of it, so you didn’t have to worry about gravity holding you to the ground, you could depend on it. You could worry about other things, like staying alive, and no one says “Staying Alive” better than the Bee Gees in the opening scene from ‘Saturday Night Fever‘. Indulge me with this if you please or just keep reading, but John Travolta is a dead ringer for my cousin Joey, and yes, that’s the way we ate our pizza, always two slices one on top of the other ...here’s just a little taste of that, welcome to Brooklyn ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVEqy6K18Yo
I’m not trying to compare Salt Lake City with Brooklyn or New York to Utah, there really is no seminal comparison, but it is ironic that Joseph Smith, founder of the Mormon Church grew up in New York (western New York) although he probably didn’t disco to the Bee Gees or work at a paint store on 86th St. under the El (elevated train line).
Smith, as a teenager in the 1820‘s, claimed he was visited by a glowing angel who was defying gravity by hovering two feet off the floor of his bedroom one night and indicating that he, Smith, was being chosen to reveal the truth to all mankind. It was his story and he was sticking to it. Well, one thing lead to another, and today the Mormon Church, recently re-re-branded as ‘The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints‘ (it was always called that) also known as the LDS Church, has a worldwide membership of over 14 million, nearly the same as the number of Jews in the world. In the U.S. the LDS Church is the 4th largest individual denomination with over 5.5 million members. Only 12% of all Mormons live in Utah.
The LDS Church is active with an aggressive missionary program, a worldwide social welfare distribution system that rivals The Red Cross, Salvation Army, FedEx, UPS, Overtock.com and Amazon combined ...and an enthusiastically exhausting plan to build temples in every corner of the world. There’s even one in Jerusalem.
Not bad for a kid from western New York. The Tatar Slovak barbarians from which I descended were from western Czechoslovakia. They immigrated to the U.S. in 1902 and worked as coal miners in western Pennsylvania. After WW II the more assimilated among us moved to eastern New York aka Brooklyn to work in electronics some of whose descendants (me) immigrated west to Utah to study geology. But I digress again ...
Conversely, the LDS Church has always suffered from a cynical controversy and criticism as being a cult-like organization, largely due to its past polygamist directives, it’s “secretive” ways, male domineering leadership, celestial meanderings, gender inequality issues, and for being in essence a global corporation more so than a religion. https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/dc42be63-b013-429d-8b88-24711421afed
Then there’s the issue of the “crazy underwear”, but in my opinion that’s negligible, a non-issue. I mean the Jews have their Yarmulkes and Tzitzits, the Catholics have their Scapulars and rosary beads ...and what about the Pope’s “crazy hat” and robes, and those $640-a-pair red loafers ...? They’re all targets for a cheap shot at humor, but no malice ...all in good fun.
Religion aside ...well, you really can’t do that in Utah, put religion aside, because, reality and politics aside, religion is what Utah is all about, in fact, religion, politics, and reality all combined which makes Utah and Salt Lake City the unique place it is. But it’s the west, and that means a rugged pioneer heritage from a hearty motivated people. Anyone and everyone is welcome. The strong stay. I mean, from mountain man Jim Bridger and the Indians and fur trappers to the linking of the transcontinental railroad, the miners, to Philo T. Farnsworth, a Mormon who invented television, Salt Lake City, Utah is the hub of the Intermountain West and an international crossroads and destination for education, research, business, recreation ...but not pizza. But still, I had to come here.
Joey and I came to school here in the 1960‘s, USU in Logan. It was a culture shock from Brooklyn. Joey left, he couldn’t handle it because it was not like Brooklyn. I loved Utah and stayed ...because it was not like Brooklyn. I married an incredible Mormon woman, we had three equally incredible children who are all grown and gone from home now but who all stayed here as well. I guess, this was the place, for us.
I’m still amazed at this beautiful cosmopolitan city with its rich all-around history and its mountain valley northern Utah and west desert environment, the Great Salt Lake, and spectacular vistas. I do feel weightless here. More free. I too am walking two feet of the ground now ...and still not on drugs.
Fate is the hunter. I could have remained Clueless in Brooklyn, could have stayed Helpless in Houston, Penniless in Pittsburgh or Mindless in Miami, 'Sleepless in Seattle', even Pointless in Portland, all places where I have lived and worked, but Weightless in Salt Lake City feels the best, two feet off the ground.
Maybe it is the geology or the altitude, maybe it is otherworldly, either way Brigham Young was right, “This is the place!”
John Kushma is a communication consultant and lives in Logan, Utah.
