After Trump
After CNN burns him at the stake and we’ve all returned to our homes and regularly scheduled programming, and after MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell picks Trumps bones clean like a scavenging junkyard dog, it will be a new day in America.
Trump is outta here. He’ll leave the White House vertically or horizontally in a straightjacket. When, in the history of our American presidency have you heard secretaries of state, aids, advisors, friends, congressmen, senators of the same party, even family, call a sitting president a moron, an idiot, a fool, etc., with passionate expletives?! The new book just out by journalist Michael Wolff, ‘Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House‘ is a look not only inside the White House but a look into the mind of Donald Trump, which was interpreted to me perfectly, simply, revealed by paraphrase on a billboard advertising an ice cream and hot dog place in Las Vegas, “The Coney Island of Las Vegas!” Says it all.
Whether every detailed anecdote in Wolff’s book is absolutely 100% accurate, which author Wolff and many other insiders claim they are and which Trump claims are ”all lies”, is insignificant to the pattern the book reinforces. We’ve watched this president and his White House self-destruct from day one. We all knew, some of us more hopeful than others, that it was only a matter of time.
So, as Lawrence O’Donnell sucks the last bit of marrow from The Donald’s charred bones, the dark clouds of Trumpism will roll back, the sun will come out, birds will sing, Milton “Mitt” Romney will rejoice. Biff’s nightmare world will be gone and America will be back to the bright future ahead, on track once again toward righteousness, world leadership, honesty and integrity. The American way!
Ivanka and Jared will move out on Long Island somewhere, Islip, and have a bunch of kids. Melania will move back to Slovenia to work in her father’s garage. The Trump brothers, Eric and Don Jr., will open a hot dog franchise in Scranton, PA and call it ‘Tube Steaks’. Tiffany will run for president in 2020 but lose to Elizabeth Warren, who, herself, will be accused of sexual harassment and impeached. Barron will get into drugs and become a race car driver.
Life will return to normal. Wannabe player Steve Bannon will continue to be insignificant.
But seriously, what will it be like the day after? What will the American political landscape look like?
Certainly, there will be no more greed and corruption in government. Stupidity and incompetence will be a thing of the past. Arrogance will be exiled to Russian Siberia. North Korea will open a Disneyland in Pyongyang.
There will be no more mass shootings. The NRA will come to it’s senses and ban bump stocks but “limit” the amount of rounds in a AR-15 magazine clip to 50 (to compensate). Hand grenades will be outlawed, but only in Michigan, however. Need more work on that. Healthcare will become free for all Americans because the drug companies, doctors and the medical industry generally will cut their fees in half. No more tax reductions for the rich. Sexual harassment will be eliminated due the new ‘John Wayne Bobbitt Law’. Al Franken will be back on SNL where he belongs.
The air will be cleaner. No more global warming to worry about. Life will be great.
Donald Trump will have shown us the error of our ways by example and although he gave us quite a scare back in 2017, we will thank him well into the future for showing us how a deranged lunatic in charge of anything, especially, incredibly, even as unlikely as the President of the United States, can affect the world community and our collective conscience. Donald Trump will become the mirror we look into every day, and his photograph will be displayed at every voting station and in every voting booth in America from hence forward ...lest we forget.
His likeness will not be displayed on any American currency. Maybe in Slovenia. Certainly, Russia. There will be no presidential library for Trump as he did not read.
So, the day after ...Mike Pence. Who knows what kind of a president he will be? It will be odd and difficult for him at first because there will be no one for him which to kowtow. And what about the other “players”, the standard fare politicians we are paying who have made a career of, well, doing practically nothing? The ones we opted Donald Trump for? Like the tap-dancing soda jerk, Paul Ryan? Nutty Nancy Pelosi? “The Mutant”, Mitch McConnell? And of course, the wild card, the stifling, God fearing, Mitt Romney?
...and the others, the swarms and shrewdness of our collective would-be leaders.
Who will run? Who will presume to lead? Who among us would be king?
Who will answer the call?
All, real good, relevant questions.
The answer: from Matthew 23:11 King James Version “...But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.”
Or, from Bob Dylan .”..Steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king.”
John Kushma is a communication consultant and lives in Logan, Utah.
