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How to Prevent Common Money Conflicts Among Couples

With guidance from Take Charge America, a national nonprofit credit counseling agency, don’t let finances get in the way of what’s really important

PHOENIX – (Feb. 5, 2019) – Money is a source of tension among many modern couples — but it doesn’t always have to be. With practice, dedication and open communication, most couples can prevent some of these common, yet avoidable, money woes.

As many couples can attest, avoiding important financial conversations can result in more problems developing over time. Statistics illustrate the impact finances can have on relationships:

• According to a study conducted by the American Psychological Association in 2014, 31 percent of couples reported money as a “major source of conflict.”
• This trend has continued, too. The Harris Poll completed a study in 2018 that found adults ages 18-54 were likely to rate money as a top stressor in comparison to older adults (55+).
• The same poll found four in 10 couples who are married or in a “serious relationship” share income and expenses.

“Money is easily one of the greatest reasons for stress between partners,” said Michael Sullivan, a personal financial consultant with Take Charge America, a national nonprofit credit counseling and debt management agency. “But I’m confident anyone can overcome these common financial issues and strengthen their relationship in the process.” 

According to Sullivan, couples can make the love last with these five tips:

1. Stay Open and Honest: Communication is the number one skill for resolving any conflict — money included. Being transparent about credit card use, student loans, income sources, alimony and child support, among other financial issues, can help prevent future arguments. Be open with your partner about financial struggles to avoid any unseen issues.
2. Seek to Understand: Everyone’s upbringing can influence future money choices. Watching and learning from our parents can lead to lifelong habits, good or bad. Starting a conversation from a place of nonjudgement and compassion can help your partner feel safe and supported when discussing financial issues.
3. Find a Balance: When it comes to investing, you might be more risk-seeking while your significant other is more conservative. The key to mediating opposite approaches is finding a happy medium – a balance where you both feel comfortable with the financial decisions being made and the mutual goals you’re seeking to achieve.
4. Make your Dreams Come True: Couples who want to have children, buy a home, retire early or travel the world together need to consider the best financial pathways to see their dreams become a reality. This means setting up a logical plan with attainable saving goals. Even the loftiest aspirations are doable with dedication.
5. Stick Together:  Approaching money troubles as a unit strengthens the bond between partners and leads to a more confident financial future. If needed, meet with a financial planner, credit counselor or seek guidance on buying a home. Commit to paying down credit cards, student loans or other debt as a pair — couples who save together, stay together.

Worried about how money might affect your relationship? For more information on managing and paying off debts, call (888) 822-9193 or visit www.takechargeamerica.org.

About Take Charge America, Inc.

Founded in 1987, Take Charge America, Inc. is a nonprofit agency offering financial education and counseling services including credit counseling, debt management, student loan counseling, housing counseling and bankruptcy counseling. It has helped more than 1.6 million consumers nationwide manage their personal finances and debts. To learn more, visit www.takechargeamerica.org or call (888) 822-9193.

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Peaceful Coexistence Should Be Taught in Schools

By Matthew Johnson

1052 words

As a former student and teacher in both private and public schools, I believe diversity and inclusion should be not only encouraged but also taught. Education is by far the best response to bigotry and ignorance, and I applaud the faculty and students from my rival high school for spearheading a Global Community Citizenship course that could be mandated throughout the county this week. 

I was raised in Anne Arundel County, Md., in a white suburban bubble. The n-wordwas thrown around far more than the r-word. There was a “Korean table,” a “Black table,” and a “Nerd table” in the school cafeteria. The “Nerd table” was typically the most diverse, but even among nerds, ignorance abounded.  

Homophobia was normalized to the point that boys would be accused of being gay for not denying the ever-present accusation with enough disdain. And God help them if they weregay or questioning. It was not a safe place for them even in the drama club.

Given this context, I was ashamed but not surprised to learn about the string of racist incidentsplaguing Anne Arundel County since the beginning of the Trump era.  

The word diversityhad no meaning until my college years. Even though the friends I kept were diverse in both race and family income levels, I had no real understanding or appreciation of those differences. In the white-dominated circles I frequented, students of color were often appreciated to the extent that they appeared or acted “white.” They were not celebrated for their cultural or individual uniqueness. Neither were their ancestors by extension—unless Black History Month, which is often used as evidence of preferential treatment by diversity’s detractors, is included. 

This is a serious problem that can be ameliorated—at least in part —by formal education. It’s not as simple as adding an additional class that addresses diversity directly (even though this is an important first step) because this once again compartmentalizes the issue akin to how Black History Month compartmentalizes black history. 

History teachers could allow students to research and present on their family heritage and how it relates to historical events. Imagine the conversation that would ensue if it turned out one student’s ancestors were Confederate soldiers while his classmate’s ancestors were slaves? It would take a savvy educator to navigate a dynamic such as this, but it could be done. No one would call the class boring at least. 

In English class, which I have the most experience teaching, the metric for diversity is determined first and foremost by the texts presented to the students. If those texts are limited to those written by white men, this is objectionable from the standpoint of cultural inclusiveness. However, it would also be a mistake to not include any texts written by white men in an attempt to connect better with students of color (or female and/or LGBTQ students, for that matter). I have seen this latter approach taken and consider it equally objectionable because it presupposes—falsely in my opinion—that students of color cannot connect to these works. I cannot stress enough that fostering diversity does not mean leaving out controversial ideas or even played-out ones. Interpreting it this way would be a tragic mistake. 

Science and math have never been my subjects, but I think it would go a long way if teachers informed students of the origins of the devices they use and concepts they explore—especially when those origins extend beyond the Western world. 

The goal should be to infuse cultural sensitivity and inclusion into all aspects of the curriculum and broader school culture. This way every month is Black History Month, Asian History Month, Women’s History Month, Queer History Month, and so on. Our white students will be at a major disadvantage if they go on to college or into the workforce without the necessary cultural knowledge and sensitivity to engage cooperatively with their professors, peers, supervisors, colleagues, and clients—many of whom will come from backgrounds unfamiliar to them. No amount of clinging to crude stereotypes or the false notion of colorblindness will save them. 

For their part, students from marginalized communities must be given the respect of acknowledgement and appreciation. This can be achieved through full integration of their heritage into school curricula and culture. This, in turn, can be achieved by hiring a diverse staff, training teachers on how to foster effective cross-cultural dialogue, consulting outside experts, and creating outlets for students to guide their own learning and provide constructive critiques of the curriculum. 

My hope is that one day schools across the country will promote coexistence as essential for achievement, along with reading, writing, and arithmetic. Peaceful integration should continue to be the ideal if we are to maintain this radical experiment in democratic pluralism known as the United States of America. 

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Matt Johnson, syndicated by PeaceVoice, is co-author of Trumpism.

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WHAT WE’D LIKE TO HEAR IN THE SOTU (and the response!). We promise - no more acronyms. But as we have every year that a president offers his thoughts on the state of the union, we offer what edreformers believe would make this year’s address a real stand out for those who care about whether our children, our students at any age get the attention and treatment they deserve:

1. Let’s start with giving all Americans, regardless of age or zip code the ability to access and pursue the education that best suits them.
    
2. Students should be judged not on how many days or years their butts are in seats but whether they’ve achieved competency. Carnegie units are yesterday; personalized learning is today.
    
3. Globally competitive schools require the ability to turn on a dime, to iterate, innovate and accelerate learning. Let’s get the rules out of their way, and reward success, not failure.
    
4. Education reform is the quintessential bi-partisan issue, so please stop shooting the messenger!
    
5. True innovation in schools requires internet access and access to teaching and learning anywhere, particularly for rural students. Let’s put infrastructure dollars to use in expanding the digital footprint to underserved communities. A good illustration of why this is important, is found in this Special Report on Rural Internet Access. 

GUESTS WE’D LIKE TO SEE THERE:  There are fabulously successful charter schools in and around D.C. One of their principals and/or students should be the First Lady’s guests in the House gallery and acknowledged by the President from the podium. Teaser: here are the special guests you will see tonight.

Image by Esmeralda Fabian Romero via T74

MY CHILD, MY CHOICE - MI HIJO, MI ELECCION. These were the chants of more than 3,500 parents, largely from disadvantaged communities, who showed up to support Los Angeles area charter schools after the teacher’s strike. These are the real people and their children who are  lifted up by true alternatives in education. They need to be heard. 

HIGHER ED WISDOM. Hillsdale College’s Larry Arnn is joining the chorus of people questioning 'is college for everyone? If not, what is?' Unlike most who pose the question as if there are only two alternatives, this college prez’s opines on the purpose of education. And guess what? It's not just about a job. “The ultimate purpose of an education — to teach people how to live, to introduce them to the great questions that shape a good life and the variety of robust answers people throughout human history have given to such ultimate questions. This gives the young the mental equipment they need to pursue their own good life, rather than leaving them, as our education institutions largely do now, adrift in the ocean with no food, no water, no map, and no rudder.” Well worth a complete read.

GEORGIA PARENTS WIN.  One of CER’s basic tenets is that students of all ages should be able to learn wherever they are and at a pace that suits them. From Georgia  and Texas come examples of the real world impact of online learning on real people. 

As always, we welcome your comments and suggestions at edreform.com

Founded in 1993, the Center for Education Reform aims to expand educational opportunities that lead to improved economic outcomes for all Americans — particularly our youth — ensuring that conditions are ripe for innovation, freedom and flexibility throughout U.S. education.