The post-holiday let-down happens
The happy sappy crowd remains full of cheer. Their gala of gab continues. However, some folks feel a mood swing as the merry season comes to a close.
The country clan is bummed out again because they did not find Bigfoot. Or a hair sample, footprints or a pile of scat. No Sasquatch found in 2019. Don’t give up hope.
The scratch-off tickets in many stockings didn’t yield a cent. Disappointment dwells in these fuming folks. No winners or chicken dinners.
The television commercials about new vehicles in driveways with giant red bows are bogus. Don’t believe what you see on the screen.
Gift receivers are returning the ugly sweaters, putrid perfumes, and itchy bathrobes. Gag gifts will be recycled. My family and friends better not recycle the wild, wacky, yet wonderful Squirrel in Underpants air fresheners.
The reindeer jerky wasn’t the big hit you thought it would be. The kids remain suspicious that parts of Rudolph were dried and packaged. But they loved the bacon-flavored candy canes.
And just what do you do with the custom face socks from Cousin Melba, the crazy cat lady? She took a selfie with her six cats and had the picture put on socks. And she expects you to wear them.
“Thank you, Stockings, for being a long flammable piece of fabric people like to hang over a roaring fireplace.” – Jimmy Fallon
The hassle of holiday hullabaloo catapults introverts into hiding until house guests leave. And the dog refuses to come out from under the bed until all small children are gone. The kitchen resembles a demolition derby. Savor the memories.
Look on the brighter side. Uncle Ernie didn’t burp, belch, or pretend to pick boogers at the dinner table this year. Aunt Gertie didn’t give away her famous fruitcakes. Ah fruitcake. Is it a dessert or a doorstop? I am not a fruitcake fan.
On a positive note, coworkers didn’t like the Spam hors d'oeuvres you baked for the office party. So there’s enough left for your lunch. Yummy. But why is this tasty meat named after unwanted email messages? It’s a mystery.
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
What’s the remedy for post-holiday slump? Eat the gingerbread house. Send the Elf on the Shelf on a long trip. Pull the plug on the Christmas inflatables in your neighbor’s yard. Donate the solar powered Rudolph outdoor lawn sculpture. Dare the UPS guy to deliver any packages to your front door.
Take a timeout from texting. Dump digital devices for 24 hours and take a nap. Reset, rest, and read a book. Soothe the self with a cup of herbal tea, sniff lavender oil, and partake in meditation. Reflect on the reason for the season.
Bounce back from blah and boost your brain and body with water and walking. Take another nap. Watch giggling babies on YouTube and laugh. Dig a hole in the backyard and bury all the loose Lego parts you find on the floor.
“I grew up on a Christmas Tree Farm so this is a good season for me. I was too young to help with the hauling of the trees up the hills and putting them onto cars. So, it was my job to pull the preying mantis pods off of the Christmas trees. The problem with that is if you leave them on there, people bring them into their house. I forgot to check one time and they hatched all over these people’s house—and there were hundreds of thousands of them!” – Taylor Swift
Be glad you have an artificial tree.
Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is an author, columnist, educator, and therapist. She lives in Ohio. Contact her at melissamcolumnist@gmail.com.
