Dear Dave,
My wife and I have been married for 12 years. Last month we found out she has terminal cancer and only six months to live. We’ve been fortunate enough to become fairly wealthy during our lives together, and she wants to buy me a boat. We always went fishing together, and her last wish is for me to have the boat I’ve always wanted. Even with this prognosis, I’ll be okay financially when she’s gone. Still, I can’t stand the thought of this. It’s just too painful. Do you have any advice?
Andrew
Dear Andrew,
Buddy, I am so very sorry. I hope you realize that you have the sweetest woman on earth for your wife. Even with all she’s going through, her thoughts are of you and your happiness. That is one amazing lady.
The first thing I’d tell you both is to make sure your faith is intact. Hug her a lot, and keep talking to, praying with, and loving on each other. Be there for her all you can, and keep in mind that doctors can be wrong. It happens a lot, believe it or not, so don’t give up hope.
If she brings up the boat again, just smile and let her know it’s all about her right now. Remind her that she did the nicest thing possible many years ago when she agreed to spend the rest of her life with you. If she’s really stubborn about this idea — something tells me she is, and in the
very best way possible — promise her that whether you win or lose this fight you’ll buy that boat someday and name it after her.
In other words, just tell her the truth and be real. If she goes home to be with the Lord, there might come a day down the road when the pain you’ll feel has dulled just a little, and you find yourself sitting on that fishing boat that’s named after her. That would be okay. I’m sure she would be smiling at you while you reeled in a big one. But you’ve got more important things to take care of right now — namely her.
God bless you both, Andrew.
— Dave
Dave Ramsey is CEO of Ramsey Solutions. He has authored seven best-selling books, including The Total Money Makeover. The Dave Ramsey Show is heard by more than 12 million listeners each week on 575 radio stations and multiple digital platforms. Follow Dave on the web at daveramsey.com and on Twitter at @DaveRamsey.
