“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means.”
-Albert Einstein
After a “fun-filled” day with my 8 year-old trying my patience every way he could think of, I finally let a word slip that I shouldn’t have. It wasn’t a swear-word, just something you don’t want your kids spurting out every other sentence. Instead of hearing anything I had been trying to get across, he just smugly replied, “Oh, now I can say that word? Great, we can say that word whenever we want now. That’s awesome!” Grrrrrr. Yeah, awesome.
Another case is brought to mind as I have thought about this concept. In high school I knew a friend who was severely addicted to Dr. Pepper and drank several every day. When I pointed out that he was dependent, he was uber-defensive about it. “I am not! I could quit today if I wanted to!” was his indignant retort. Well, I challenged him to prove it, and he found the very next day that he was left with terrible headaches and quickly gave in again to his very real addiction. The constant flow of sugar, carbonation, and caffeine was not doing him any favors. The point is, up until then he had always insisted that drinking it was fine because a man we both respected, drank it too.
It’s truly pathetic how we all like to justify actions and habits that are hurtful to ourselves or others, because we’ve seen someone else do something. I don’t care how much I look up to someone, I don’t want to pick up their bad habits and problems. I was recently inspired to do quite the opposite. So while I take VERY seriously the example I set, especially for my children, my thoughts right now are directed at how we choose which parts of others’ example to follow.
A man I have known for an exceptionally long time has been an unbelievable influence for good in my life and in the lives of countless others. A few months ago I heard a couple of stories about him that made me think of things in a way I never had before. He had some grandkids who had been enjoying fireworks on his driveway while he was away on vacation. One of the fireworks got away and started a pretty devastating fire that burned trees, landscaping, a big portion of his deck and a large covered patio, part of his carport, and caused some damage to the home. After the insurance claims were finished, he discovered that the insurance was planning to give him quite a bit more money than he needed because he was paying his own boys to work with him in making repairs and rebuilding, and he didn’t feel the need to buy mature expensive trees and bushes to replace the ones that were lost. He figured out what he needed and requested a significantly lower amount. Wow. I bet the insurance adjuster nearly swallowed his tongue.
In my experience, you always try to get everything you can to cover costs. If you do your own work, then there might be an opportunity to improve or even add new projects. It really made me think about honesty in a whole new light. I love this wisdom from Mahatma Gandhi, “To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.” Since hearing this story I have been motivated to think through situations with an extra focus on real honesty. I’m working harder to see the good in all the people around me and incorporate that goodness into my life. I’ll end with my favorite quote from the book by Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman in the World, “I will love all manners of men for each has qualities to be admired even though they be hidden.”
